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oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo Please read oOo oOo oOo
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Humour? If we cant laugh......
Evaluation of applicants for
residency at an asylum.
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from
time to time and
this should help get you started.
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During a visit to a care facility for the socially challenged, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No! " said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Good Tattoo sent in by Hani
An
accountant gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hell
have you been?" He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo." "A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis," he said proudly. "What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill on his penis?" "Well, one, I like to watch my money grow," he began. "Two, once in a while, I like to play with my money... Three, I like how money feels in my hand.. And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!" The 12 Days of Christmas
On the 1st day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 4th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 5th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 6th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 7th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 8th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 9th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 10th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 11th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me...
On the 12th day of Christmas, my MISTRESS gave to
me... The RULES - The Female makes the rules.
A YOUNG NURSE APPEARS TO SPONGE HIS HANDS AND FEET. "NURSE", HE MUMBLES FROM BEHIND THE MASK, "ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?" EMBARRASSED, THE YOUNG NURSE REPLIES,"I DON'T KNOW, I'M ONLY HERE TO WASH YOUR HANDS AND FEET." HE STRUGGLES AGAIN TO ASK, "NURSE, ARE MY TESTICLES BLACK?" FINALLY, THE YOUNG GIRL PULLS BACK THE COVERS, RAISES THE PATIENT'S GOWN, HOLDS HIS MANHOOD IN ONE HAND AND HIS TESTICLES IN HER OTHER HAND; AND TAKES A CLOSE LOOK, AND SAYS, " THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM!" FINALLY, THE MAN PULLS OFF HIS OXYGEN MASK AND SAYS, "THAT WAS VERY NICE; BUT, ARE... MY... TEST...RESULTS...BACK?
From: Mr T. I was having a barium enema. I had been filled with the thick white paste when the fire alarm went off in the X-ray department. The nurses panicked but the radiologist turned to her colleges. She told them, "I've started, so I'll finish!"
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