I was getting a bit scared. Night was falling and I wasn't sure exactly where I was. I'd been to see an old friend who'd recently moved out into the wilds of Yorkshire and we'd had an enjoyable day catching up on old times. It had started to snow so I'd set out for home but these country roads were confusing and somehow I'd got lost up on the moors. The snow was getting heavy and it was getting dark as I suddenly ran out of petrol. I'd left the car and started walking. After a while I saw distant lights down a side road. Though it said "Private Road : No entry" I went down it. After a while I came on a sign saying The Institute, Private. No A & E. Keep out". Not exactly welcoming, but there should be a phone I thought. I walked up the drive and as I got nearer to the grim Navy Blue imposing Victorian building I noticed bars on the windows. It didn't look like a hospital, as there were no signs of any activity, no cars, no ambulances, nothing. It looked rather derelict but there were lights on. I approached the big heavy door and tried to open it. It was locked so I rang the bell. After what seemed an age I could hear locks being turned, and it opened. I was very surprised that the nurse who stood there was in an old fashioned uniform. She had a Navy Blue uniform dress with a row of shiny buttons on either side of the front. It had long sleeves and stiff white starched cuffs, and a starched white collar. She was wearing a bib fronted, starched white apron, with a fob watch pinned to the bib on one side and an ID badge on the other. I saw her name was Sister Gray, which was a bit strange. The apron was tightly pulled in by a wide white Petersham belt, with large, solid silver, buckle. She had black stockings and well polished, but used, black , leather, laced up, duty shoes. She had a very elaborate, small pillbox style lace, Sister's cap, with lace fan tails on top of her hair which was pulled back into a bun making her even taller looking. I estimated she must have been over 6 foot and was quite heavily built. She was a very imposing figure with piercing steel Navy Blue eyes . I mumbled something about my car breaking down. "You'd better come in" she said and stood aside. I went in and I was a bit worried as she proceeded to double lock and bolt the door with the huge set of keys hanging on a chain from her belt, that she took from her side pocket. "Come with me" she said striding off down the corridor her apron swishing as her heels clattered on the tiled floor. It certainly smelt like a hospital with all those smells but it was very quiet. We went through another locked door and then another deeper into the hospital. Each door she unlocked let me through and then relocked. I was now a bit worried. The lights, which were fairly dim, suddenly went out, came back on, went brighter and went out and came on again. It was as if there'd been a power surge and I could hear in the distance what sounded like a generator dimly humming. Sister Gray glanced at her fob watch "The 8 pm treatments" she said. I wondered what she meant "Pardon" I said but she just smiled.

We'd now reached some swing doors and I could see on the other side what looked like a Ward. She showed me through and again locked the door. The Ward was very bleak looking and curtains were round most of the beds so I couldn't see if there were any other patients. At the end of the Ward was a nursing station and there were 2 other Sisters dressed the same. "We have a visitor" said my Sister Navy Blue to her colleagues. "Just in time for the 10 pm treatment" said the older one, I saws her badge said Sister White. "I'm lost , could I" I started to say as the other Sister who when I'd arrived had had her back to me at a trolley, come up behind me and a pad was pressed over my nose and mouth. I realised it was ether, and I started to resist as the choking vapours filled my lungs, but the other 2 Sisters had hold of my wrists as my struggles weakened and the inky blackness swallowed me up.

I came to, and found I was strapped into a wooden chair. My hair was being cut and I had been undressed and I was now wearing a short, coarse material, shift dress with a large number "6" on the front and back. I had no knickers or tights on and just a pair of very thin flip-flops on my feet. All my jewellery had gone. They'd just about finished my crop cut and my long blonde hair lay round my feet. I started crying, my mascara making black runs down my face. I threatened them with everything I could think of, but they just laughed. Sister White slapped me hard across the face "Shut up slut" she said "welcome to The Institute Mental Hospital" My blood froze, that explained all the locks "we're a private facility set up to treat young women of loose morals, who have been sent to us by fate. From now on you'll do exactly as we say 6, or it will be the worse for you". I started to protest, but got another tooth rattling slap. "Time for your ECT" said Sister White, as I was released from the chair and frog marched from the Ward. I was dragged down into the basement of the hospital into a white tiled theatre area smelling of disinfectant, urine, vomit and anaesthesia. We passed some other women who were sitting, strapped into wheelchairs gazing vacantly ahead. One had wet herself, her nappy had leaked and a puddle had formed under her wheelchair. "The 8pm batch" sneered the younger Sister, who I now saw was called Sister Black. I was still in shock as I was strapped into a chair, very much like an old fashioned dental chair, in the centre of the white tiled room. Some cold gel was put on my temples and some electrodes attached. They then put a long brown rubber bib, like a dental one, over me. Finally a thick nappy was pushed between my legs "in case we loose control" sneered Sister. There was a funny looking machine behind the chair with lots of wires attached. A huge electricity cable ran away from it.

An old-fashioned anaesthetic gas machine was then wheeled up next to the chair. The large black, rubber-breathing bag, hung limply between the central steel framework that held the cylinders. I knew the black with white tops were oxygen and the blue ones, nitrous oxide. "Now 6" said Sister White "we're going to give you some Gas, but we also want you to bite hard on this" She produced a very large wedge of black rubber that looked like it had been well bitten over the years. It was firmly wedged between my back teeth and straps holding it in place were fastened round my neck. A trail of dribble started down my chin. My hands were tightly gripping the armrests as the black, rubber pear shaped mask descended and sealed tightly over my face. I breathed in as they said. The cloying gas was starting to make my hearing distort and funny spiralling lights started in my vision. I felt a needle go in my arm. I suddenly realised that I couldn't breath and as that revelation hit me, someone pulled the switch and electric current shot through my head. The lights were pulsing on and off, as I was convulsing, my teeth were nearly meeting through the rubber, and I thought I was dying. I couldn't see but I dimly heard Sister Gray say "Power off. Bag her" and I fainted into the blackness.

I came to with the mask over my face and my lungs now sucking in pure oxygen. I was soaking in sweat and I think I'd also wet myself. My head hurt and I felt as if I'd been kicked all over. Sister Gray's sneering face came into view "Welcome back 6" she said "now we do it again". I began to scream "NOoooo!" as she held the mask over my face and the rebreathing bag started to make it's characteristic flick flack sound as it inflated and deflated, pumping the nitrous oxide deep into my lungs, as the generator began to whine. This time when the switch was thrown it was much worse and luckily I fainted virtually immediately the convulsions started.

Someone was calling my name. I opened my eyes I was in a hospital bed. I glanced fearfully around, the young pretty Staff nurse who was shaking me was in a royal blue tunic and trouser set. I glanced down the rest of the Ward, so were her colleagues. There was no sign of any Victorian uniforms or any fancy lace caps. "You were found in your car on the moor" she said "you had hypothermia. You've been here a week in a coma". I was glad The Institute had been a dream. She left me and suddenly the lights flickered on and off. I pulled myself up slightly, and caught a glimpse of myself in the metal front of the bedside cabinet and saw my hair was cut really short. I then started screaming and screaming till Sister brought the straitjacket and sedation. I just heard her say "Staff, call The Institute and see if they can take a new patient" before it all went black!

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