Play & Negotiation List  

Prepared by Jrsygir1(6/2000),

This list was inspired by many existing lists on the internet....it was prepared and is intended for educational purposes only and should not be used for commercial gain.....please feel free to reproduce and distribute this document free of charge anywhere on the internet or in print.
This is a Play list that may help couples figure out what their wants and needs are. Personally I don't like play lists but sometimes they are good communication tools. When someone fills it out they should indicate if they are filling it out for their ultimate Dominant/Top partner or for someone in particular, taking into consideration the nature of the relationship. In other words if I were filling it out for my long-time Dominant partner it would look different than if I were filling it out for a new casual play partner. Some of the answers would be different based on the nature of the relationship and the level of trust involved.

This worksheet allows for a more open communication between Dominant/Top and submissive/bottom. By consenting to the participation in various BDSM/fetish acts, both individuals can move forward in their sexual adventures with a clear idea of what each one expects. It's a tool to open discussion between partners and a chance for Dominant/Top and submissive/bottom to create boundaries, limits and to feel more comfortable in their roles. Since Dominants/Tops are allowed to have limits as are submissive's/bottoms, you might each think about filling out a sheet, to see how close you are, and where adjustments and communications are needed. This list is in no way complete. It is just a starting point. You can download a  Rich Text Version for printing. As always, we suggest condoms be used for any penetration by genitals or toys, and gloves when using your hands. Dental dams are also suggested for oral play, when playing with someone who is unknown or suspect. For more information, visit http://www.safesex.com

Please note; nothing in my opinion takes the place of chemistry and face to face communication.

If you have questions regarding a term, check it in the deviant's dictionary

How to fill out the forms;

A. Done it YES or NO

B. Indicate how you felt about it when you did it using the following indicators;

NO means you will NOT do that activity under any circumstances. Its a hard limit and will never happen with anyone. PERIOD! THE END! DON'T EVEN GO THERE!
0   means you HATE that activity, but you are willing to do it at least a little to please the Dominant/Top, but you would really rather not. It can also mean you are not able to do that activity with a casual play partner but in the right situation, like a committed relationship, you would be capable of doing it. And this is why communication will never take the place of a Play list.
1   means you don't care much about it....under the right circumstances it might be fun...what the hell...ok you will try it.
2   means you're curious about it, not sure how you'll respond...in theory you think you will like it.....but you  reserve the right to hate it.
3   means it's pleasurable or fun....and you hope the Dominant/Top can make it more fun.
4   means you love it, you get hot thinking about it....and you really really want to do it.
5   means the activity is a wild turn-on, you want to do it more more more...all the time...AGAIN!!!

C.  Indicate for each item how you feel RIGHT NOW about doing that activity with the person who asked you to fill this play list out, assuming there will be chemistry when you actually meet.

NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances. Its a hard limit and will never happen with anyone. PERIOD! THE END! DON'T EVEN GO THERE!
0   means you HATE that activity, but you are willing to do it at least a little to please the Dominant. It can also mean you are not able to do that activity with a casual play partner but in the right situation, like a committed relationship, you would be capable of doing it. And this is why communication will never take the place of a Play list.
1   means you don't care much about it....under the right circumstances it might be fun...what the hell...ok you will try it.
2   means you're curious about it, not sure how you'll respond...in theory you think you will like it.....but you  reserve the right to hate it.
3   means it's pleasurable or fun....and you hope the Dominant/Top can make it more fun.
4   means you love it, you get hot thinking about it....and you really really want to do it.
5   means the activity is a wild turn-on, you want to do it more more more...all the time...AGAIN!!!

************************

I, ________________, am filling this play list out at the request of _______________ . 

My experience in BD/SM is best described as (circle one);

None     Some     Casual     Serious     Extensive

*********************

SEX

Is sex something you want in your BD/SM relationship?

Define sex;

Define Safe Sex;

General Sexual Activity